The crowd, noise and chaos in the ladies 2nd class train compartment was nothing compared to the crowd, noise and chaos in my heart! A bogey of violent women was not the only thing that separated me from my love, Ray. My hidden life that I had shrouded with lies had splintered the tender bonds of love that had entwined us gently a few months ago.
Oblivious to the fact that I was crushed amongst several ladies who were openly receptive to any sort of drama, I wept with bitter anguish and torment. I wept for the man with whom our castle of love was built trustingly. I wept for the betrayal of that pure love. My tears rolled down uncontrollably.
I wanted to rush out of my compartment at that very moment and leap into his. But the oceanic bogey of women prevented me from carrying out my impulsive action. I held myself up on my weak legs, still crying inconsolably. I waited impatiently for our station to arrive so that I could rush out, hug him and tell him how sorry I was. I wanted to let him know that the only reason I had hid my past and lied to him was to protect our love from being trodden on. But well, my good intentions, though wrong, had now trodden on our love... the very thing I was protecting it from. As I stood there looking out for our station, the wise old words rung in my ears "Honesty is the best policy." I had created a dent in our honest love, and a price had to be paid for it. I would pay the price, I would rectify it the moment I got off the train!
Our station was approaching and, determined to get out as soon as the train halted at the platform, I waded and tided my way through the wave of jostling women to stand at the foot-board of the compartment. I never dare to do this as it is extremely dangerous for a dainty one like me. One shove and my feet could land up on the railway tracks open to speeding trains. But this wasn't a time to ponder over the danger ahead while my love was already in danger of being torn away from me. ... Maybe it had already been torn away... what if he hadn't boarded the train? No, no, no... I knew deep in my heart that Ray would never leave me stranded. Our love was stronger than that.
We had nurtured and cared for our love all these months, we had been through tremendous upheavals that had shaken us to the cores of our hearts, but we had always held on strongly to each other, held on trustingly to our love. I trusted in our steadfast love, believed in it... all would be well. I knew it!
The station arrived, and the restless women behind me started to push. For once, I didn't mind them as I wanted to just get off the train! The train halted to a stop at the platform, but if an ocean of women were behind me, then an ocean 10 times the size of the one behind me was on the platform!! Before I knew it, the women from the platform rushed straight into me, blocking my way from getting down. I screamed and hollered, my legs had slipped down to the platform but were pinned against the train. I clambered back in to the compartment, afraid that my knees would snap from the thrusts coming my way.
The train had begun to depart from the station with me still inside it. This couldn't be happening! I knew Ray WOULD wait for me even if I didn't get off the train, but I COULDN'T wait. I HAD to get off the train! With a wild cry, I shoved few women aside and jumped off the train blindly... in the opposite direction to which it was moving. This was the wrong thing to do as I found myself being dragged backward... I purposely tried slowing down myself and let myself fall over backwards as gradually and lightly as possible. It might have taken a few seconds, but it felt defyingly slow at that moment. I fell to the ground on my back and instinctively rolled to my side, away from the now departing train so that I couldn't be hurt in any way. The piercing hurt in my heart was already more than I could carry.
The moment the train had gone, I tried to pick myself up even as a swarm of women surrounded me. Helping hands were around me and I was gently escorted to a bench on the platform. All the time, my eyes were searching desperately for Ray, knowing that he would be around nearby. As I was being seated on the bench, I saw him just a few feet away from it near the departing terminal. I waved my hand but was closeted by the women and he failed to see my outstretched hand. He was looking elsewhere and my desperate attempts at getting his attention got a girl's attention who was standing near him. I immediately seized my chance and mouthed to her "Call him" while pointing at him to her. She moved toward him and then my view was blocked.
The women were checking my head to see if I had received any injuries there... I wanted to tell them that the worst injury was in my heart. Suddenly, their voices lowered a bit and they cleared a path. I knew it before I could even look up. Ray had made his way through the throng of females and stood before me. The women cleared away sensing that now that the man was by his lady's side, all would be well. Little did they know about the tornado that we had just been through.
I did not have the courage to look up at him after I had lied to our love like that. I had hope in our love though, he had come to me, that was enough hope for me!
He sat beside me and held me gently. He wound his arm around me, carefully holding me as if I would break... I felt his protective hand on my shoulder, I heard his worried, gentle yet sharp voice say, "What's wrong? I was waiting for you near the terminal... I knew something wasn't right when you didn't come after the train had left. I was about to call you but something made me look this way and then I saw you... sitting here with all these women taking care of you." I looked at him astonished. "Didn't the girl tell you I was asking for you?" I questioned him. "What girl?" he asked perplexed. "The girl standing near you... I pointed at you to her..." my voice trailed feeling the after-effects of jumping and falling backwards. "No girl told me anything... some feeling just tugged at me to look where you were." he answered gently. We looked in each others' eyes... our strong bond was reflected in them. There was a bit of pain too in those soft eyes of his... He was broken inside, I knew.
His voice cut through at that moment asking me what happened. Did I jump off the train? Was I hurt? Was I okay? How bad shape was I in? It tore open my heart even more to hear his pure loving concern over me. I told him everything, avoiding his gaze... I knew it was a crazy thing to do, jumping off like that without a second thought... I turned my gaze upward slowly to meet his... I saw a flash of understanding in his features as he looked at me tenderly yet firmly.
I opened my mouth to say that I was sorry, that I had realised that hiding the truth from him out of protectiveness for our love turned out to backfire and almost sabotage our love that was unshakeable, understanding and resilient... together we could overcome any setbacks. But before I could apologize and say all that was in me, Ray held a bottle of water to my mouth and helped me drink. Did he see the apology in my eyes? ... I think so... He proceeded to check me all over to see if I was bruised or harmed. Such was our love... He was the bruised one, he was the one hurt, he was the one in actual pain, and yet he saw to my pain. Emotional pain is much worse than physical pain, and yet my Ray curbed his own pain for me.
"We should take you home," he said, concern writ all over his face, "you need to rest." I nodded and he helped me to my feet, his one arm around my waist, the other holding my hand. On our way home, he whispered with angry distress over all my actions. I understood it for what it was - Love... Still!
Once home, he immediately made me lie down on the bed, asking me to rest. He left the room, only to come back with a balm for my aches. I cried with full abandon as he gently massaged the balm over all my pain. I cried for the suffering and hurt I had caused him. I took in a deep breath of air and turned to tell him that I was sorry, but he just looked straight at me, shook his head slightly and quietened my agony with loving eyes.
Our love had spoken for us, my apologetic tears had let his heart know why I had lied... his acknowledging eyes and accepting hands had soothed my troubled nerves... nothing had to be said, by either of us... just a look, a cry, a touch and two hearts of love... all was understood, apologised for and forgiven.
Over the turbulent months, we had sowed the seeds of a pure and unchanging love.. a love that accepted each other as we were. The multitude of times we had faced obstacles, we confronted them head on and overcame them together with a love that was extremely durable and precious. We were the only ones for one another, he knew this, and I knew this - an exclusive, premium love whose value our tender hearts beat to every second. The little every day things, the simple gestures, thoughts and actions we exchanged established for us a Love pleasantly rare! For all the mistakes we had both committed, our deep rooted love kept us moving on, kept us together, and we knew in our hearts that we would always stand by one another and give each other ... a Lifetime of Love... no matter what! Our love had only begun... it would stay with us beyond the end. Purity and longevity resounded in our Platinum Heart-beats of Love...
He looked into my eyes... I looked into his... and we knew... this was Love. Our Platinum Day of Love!
|Image Credit: metal-hq|
NOTE: This post is written as an entry to the Indiblogger's Platinum Day of Love Contest. The Platinum Day of Love celebrates the day when couples discover everlasting love that never ends. It delights in a love that is as precious, rare and eternal like the pure metal Platinum. If you 'Like' this post, you could visit this link: Platinum Heart-beats of Love - Indivine and leave your appreciation there! Thanks for reading and liking! :)